The authentic tradition stretches back into the depths of history. Starting from the earliest philosophies, it has been explored in the writings of people such as Lao Tzu, Plato, Emerson, Camus, Rogers, Frankl and many others. Today people continue to focus on ‘being real’. They aim to be true to their values; live in ‘good faith’ – rather than ‘bad faith’; and pursue their life purpose – rather than sell-out to false Gods.

Life is often about finding yourself, accepting yourself and forgetting yourself. People have many physical and psychological drives – such as to be healthy, loved and successful. They also have philosophical drives – such as finding their purpose in life. Viktor Frankl said it was possible to find meaning even when one’s basic needs were not met. Recalling his imprisonment in the concentration camps, he said that some people found meaning in giving to others. Some did something each day towards fulfilling their life mission – even if that something was just inside their heads. Paradoxically, it is often when you ‘forget yourself’ that you are most able to be your real self.

People sometimes find that the more ‘outer wealth’ they obtain, the less ‘inner wealth’ they experience. This may relate back to the decisions they made earlier in life. When starting their career, for example, did they choose: a) To follow the ‘fulfilling road’ – and then find sufficient funding: b) To follow the ‘Faustian road’ – go for money and hope to one day recapture their soul; c) To follow another road that led them, without thinking, to an unsatisfying situation? Feeling unfulfilled can trigger a person back into trying to find their real self.

Different people take this journey in different ways. Some return to doing what they love, giving to others or, for example, embracing philosophies such as Voluntary Simplicity or Right Livelihood. Others embark on a more complicated journey. Let’s consider three steps towards living an authentic life.

1) You can do more of the things in which you feel authentic.

“I have achieved a lot in my life,” said Sharon, a senior IT manager, “but I have done it by working hard and being a good ‘adapter’. Ever since childhood I have figured out the rules for achieving the required results. Putting my own wishes on the back burner, I have then adapted my style to pass exams, pursue my career or reach other goals. This worked for many years, but now I am feeling the strain.”

“Certainly I can progress in my present company, but it means re-locating to another country. Five years ago I would have done it without blinking, but now I am reluctant. The higher I climb in the organisation, the further I get away from what I enjoy doing. Whilst my first duty is to my children and partner, I am not prepared to numb myself each day. Next year I will be 40 and, even though people say it is the ‘new 30’, I feel like re-taking control of my life. At the same time, I want to give something back to others. After leaving University I nearly became a teacher, but I am not enamoured by the educational system. So this is the challenge: How can I do more things for myself whilst also helping others? Have you any suggestions?”

Sharon wanted to feel real – rather than adapting to the demands of a system - so we began by doing two exercises. First, she described the times when she felt authentic. She wrote:

“I feel authentic when I am: running a ‘hands-on’ IT project; being on-site and solving a customer’s IT problem; helping older people to how to use computers; organising the local arts festival; encouraging my children; pottering around the garden; walking by myself; visiting art galleries and museums; painting; seeing people go ‘Ah yes,’ when I helped them to learn something.”

Sharon moved onto the second exercise. She spent 15 minutes focusing on how to do more of the activities in which she felt real. There were no big epiphanies; no deep soul-searching. Sharon was a disciplined person who liked to know the ‘rules’ for getting the results. She could see how developing certain habits would revitalise the things that made her feel real. As Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Imagine you are exploring this theme for yourself. When do you feel most real? How can you do more of these activities in the future? Try completing the following two exercises.

The times when I feel most authentic are:

*

*

*

The steps I can take to do more of the
things in which I feel authentic are:

*

*

*

2) You can encourage other people to do the things in which they feel authentic.

Looking around, who are the people you would like to encourage to do more activities in which they feel real? Maybe your loved ones; maybe some people at work. If you are a team leader, for example, there may be individuals who can contribute even more by playing to their strengths. People perform best when they are in their element – doing the things in which they feel at ease, yet also excel. How can you enable them to do more of these activities?

Sharon concentrated on encouraging Ben, her 14 year-old-son. He was an ‘adventurer’, rather than an ‘adapter’. From an early age he had gone his own way. He immersed himself in inventing his own games, cooking new dishes and reading about seemingly unrelated subjects. Despite being bright, Ben had difficulties at school. “I have a burning pain in my head,” he said, when trying to master maths. On the other hand, he was good at leading class projects. Sharon had initially found this inconsistency hard to understand. After all, she had been excellent at passing exams. Recognising that Ben had a different learning style, however, she encouraged him to focus on the projects he found fascinating. Helping him to forge a future career would be another challenge but, as she said: “The world is so different these days. Ben has got his wits about him and I’m sure he will find work he enjoys.”

Imagine you were doing this exercise. First, write names of the people you would like to encourage. Second, describe the steps you can take to enable them to do the activities in which they feel real. Try completing the following sentences.

The people I want to
encourage to be authentic are:

Person A: ________________________

The specific things I can do to
encourage them to be authentic are:

*

Person B: ________________________

The specific things I can do to
encourage them to be authentic are:

*

Person C: ________________________

The specific things I can do to
encourage them to be authentic are:

*

3) You can live an authentic life.

“This stuff about living an authentic life sounds a bit self-indulgent,” somebody may say. “There are millions of people who would be grateful for just a portion of the wealth in the richer nations.”

This is certainly a valid argument. Today’s search for being ‘real’ may be equivalent to the middle-class people in Vienna talking about their neuroses to the early psychoanalysts. On the other hand, some people in the richer nations feel they have forgone their true nature. Somewhere along the way they made decisions that have proved unhealthy. Some people choose to readjust by aiming to live an ethical life. Some adopt Duane Elgin’s concept of Voluntary Simplicity. Others pursue the path of choosing a Right Livelihood. You can read more about the latter approach at the site listed below, which provides stories about people who have been nominated for ‘The Alternative Nobel Prize’.

http://rightlivelihood.org/

Some people, however, may go on a journey to recapture their sense of feeling real. This isn’t a new phenomenon. Carl Rogers, the pioneering psychotherapist, highlighted this issue during the 1940s. He believed that people have a natural drive to follow their nature and fulfil their potential. Those who pursue this drive successfully are more likely to be psychologically healthy. Life is full of challenges, however, and forces can throw a person off-course. Certainly we must all take charge of our lives, but pressures sometimes mean we forget to be our true selves. Alternatively, we may choose to live in what the existentialists call ‘bad faith’. We know what ‘we can become’, but find the risk too great. We later discover it is even riskier not to live in ‘good faith’ and follow our calling.

Carl explained that, during in his counselling career, he met people who displayed many different symptoms. These were responses to what he called ‘problems of living’. Considering his troubled clients, he said:

“(Everybody) has the same problem, in a sense - the problem of finding the right path, of acting according to one’s better inner nature … It seems to me that at bottom each person is asking: ‘Who am I, really? How can I get in touch with this real self, underlying all my surface behavior? How can I become myself?’’

Looking at your own life, how can you continue to be authentic? How can you encourage other people to be their true selves? Are there any steps you would like to take to pursue your personal life-philosophy? How can you take these steps in your own way? Bearing in mind the answers you have given to the previous exercises – and perhaps adding some more ideas – try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do
to live an authentic life are:

*

*

*

Viktor Frankl wrote: “Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for … Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfilment.” Each of us can choose to follow that path – maybe a little bit at a time – and embrace what Erik Eriksson called ‘The Generative Age’. We can employ our real gifts and use them to encourage future generations.

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