People’s language often indicates their personal philosophy. It also shows their ‘mental model’. This is how they see events, process information and ‘reframe reality’. Imagine that two people are faced by an event such as the Credit Crunch. After an initial period of re-gathering their strength, somebody with a positive mental model is more likely to focus on ‘opportunities’, rather than ‘obstacles’. Somebody with a negative mental model is more likely to focus on ‘problems’, rather than possibilities.

People’s mental models are often expressed in their language. This has an effect on both themselves and other people. Positive language tends to generate strength; negative language tends to generate worry. But it is important to be careful here; because ‘positive language’ does not necessarily mean waving one’s arms around and using lots of uplifting messages. When the US’s Apollo 13 moon flight crew said: “Houston, we’ve had a problem,” this was expressed in a matter of fact way. The calmness generated enabled people to tackle the issue creatively. Such language is a far cry from the scare-mongering headlines generated by newspapers that induce worry to sell more papers. So let’s look at the language that people use in their lives and work.

1) You can recognise positive language and negative language.

What do you react to when you meet a new person? Many of us respond to something quite intangible. Being with somebody for the first time, we often pick-up on the ‘spirit’ the person emanates. They may come across, for example, as positive, negative or neutral. Certainly this can say as much about us – and our mental model – as it does about the other person. Discounting this for a moment, however, we pick up on the person’s being: their behaviour, language and the messages they give. Here we are just looking at the language they use. People’s language - and the way this influences others – is made up of many factors.

* The tone – the way they express themselves.

The tone a person emanates is often an expression of their attitude. Some people generate a positive spirit. They tend to be upbeat, energetic and, when faced by a setback, look for solutions. They give energy to others. Some people generate a negative spirit. They may enter the room with a sigh, complain or cast themselves as ‘observer critics’. They drain energy from other people.

* The text – the words they use to express themselves.

Some people use phrases like: “We can … the possibilities are … the opportunities are … let’s build on what we have in common.” Others use phrases like: “We can’t … the problems are … the obstacles are … let me play Devil’s Advocate.”

Al Siebert, author of The Survivor Personality, says that real hope-givers are ‘positive realists’. They have a positive outlook on life, yet are also realistic, rather than blindly optimistic. When communicating with other people, they are aware of the power of words. Different phrases generate different kinds of energy.

* The total effect – the influence they have on other people.

People who are ‘givers’ tend to be aware of the effect they have on others. They ask themselves: “How can I encourage people? How can I help them to succeed? How are people reacting?” People who are ‘takers’ tend to be self-indulgent. They simply want to express their feelings and opinions, rather than being concerned with how these helps others.

Try tackling the exercise on this theme. First, describe what you believe to be the kinds of ‘positive language’ that people use. Such language generates positive energy. Second, describe what you believe is the ‘negative language’ that people use. Such language often generates negative energy. Try completing the following sentences.

Positive language. The kinds of words and
phrases that often generate positive energy are:

*

*

*

Negative language. The kinds of words and
phrases that often generate negative energy are:

*

*

*

2) You can use positive language, rather than negative language.

Looking at your own life and work, what kind of language do you use when talking with people? Much depends, of course, on the ‘scripts’ you were exposed to early in life. Looking back at your family, education and youth, what kind of language did you hear? What kinds of messages were given to you people?

You may have been given messages such as: “Life is for living … Let’s appreciate what we have … We can work things out … Be true to yourself … Concentrate on what you can do, rather than compare yourself with others … You can only do your best … There are solutions to most challenges.” Or you may have heard: “Life is difficult, don’t expect too much … Life is not fair … There are lots of problems … Dog eats dog, so you have to compete … Keep working hard, but you will never be as good as others … Listen to the news, the world is full of problems.”

What kind of language did you hear during your formative years? Try tackling the exercise on this theme. First, describe the positive language you heard when you were growing up. Second, describe the negative language you heard when growing up. Try completing the following sentences.

The positive language I heard when growing up –
in the family, education and my youth - was:

*

*

*

The negative language I heard when growing up –
in the family, education and my youth - was:

*

*

*

3) You can use positive language in the future.

Winston Churchill said: “We shape our buildings, and afterwards our buildings shape us.” Similarly, you can say: “First we shape our language, then our language shapes us.” As mentioned earlier, Al Siebert underlined that peak performers are realists. They face reality – rather than ignore or gloss over it – and take a positive approach.

Imagine you are a leader inspiring people to tackle a challenge. You will treat people like adults; outline the issue in realistic terms; communicate the picture of success; explain the possible routes forward – together with the respective pluses and minuses; communicate the chosen strategy; explain people’s parts in making it happen; and describe the milestones along the road towards achieving success. The language you use at the start may be ‘matter-of-fact’; then move towards being positive. You will emphasis that people can ‘control the controllables’ and perform at their best to achieve the goal.

Good encouragers create a stimulating environment, but they are also straight with people. They are honest, rather than patronising, and know the power of language. Positive words generate strength; negative words generate weakness. Looking to the future, what kinds of words do you want to use with people? Try tackling the exercise on this theme. First, describe the kind of language – the key phrases and key messages - you want to give. Second, describe the effects you want these to have on people. Try completing the following sentences.

The kind of language – the key phrases and key
messages - I want to use with people in the future are:

*

*

*

The effects I want these to have on people are:

*

*

*

Ludwig Wittgenstein wrote: “The limits of my language means the limits of my world.” So enabling people to expand their language can expand their world. Helping people to clarify their strengths, for example, can expand their future possibilities. Helping people to see how they can achieve a ‘win-win’ solution, rather than persist with ‘win-lose’ stand-offs, can expand their repertoire for tackling challenges. Encouraging people to use positive language can help them to develop in their lives and work.

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