“Feelings are the starting point,” said one of my teachers. “Whatever you are feeling – whether it is happiness, sadness, injustice or whatever – you can use it as material for improving the world. Feelings are a springboard for helping others, rather than for being self-indulgent.”

Many people have translated this philosophy into practice. Chad Vera converted his concern for suicidal people into founding the Samaritans. Wangari Maathai translated her sorrow about deforestation into planting more than 20 million trees. E.F. Schumacher used his disenchantment with big organisations to embrace appropriate technology and write Small is Beautiful. Everybody has feelings – the question is, how do they use them? Let’s explore how to translate feelings into positive action.

1) You can clarify your feelings about something.

“I felt angry about being abandoned by mother when I was two,” said Sue Carter, who was a resident in a therapeutic community I ran. “So I resolved that, if I ever had the chance, I would give my children a happy childhood.”

Sue went on to raise two children and become a proud grandparent. Anger often covers up hurt - a feeling of not being valued or respected. People can choose to express their anger constructively or destructively. Sue chose to acknowledge the hurt and use it to create a loving life for her children. When I last met her, she was very different from the troubled 14 year-old who arrived at the community. Reflecting on her life-journey, she wrote a piece for The Strengths Way, explaining:

“My greatest fear as a parent was that my kids could end up in care. So I then decided to be the best single parent I could be. This meant that relationships with men were out. I stayed on my own with the boys for the next 18 years. Then I met a good man with whom I had a child. Even though the man and I have now parted, we are still good friends and he is a good father.”

Look back at your own life. Can you think of a time when you acknowledged your feelings and then took positive action? You may have been sad, happy, disappointed, joyful, hurt, ecstatic or whatever. What did you do to clarify your feelings – then translate these into positive action? Try completing the following sentences.

The specific time when I clarified
and acknowledged my feelings was:

*

The specific things I then did to translate
my feelings into positive action were:

*

*

*

2) You can use your feelings to help other people.

“I had the good fortune to be born happy,” wrote Alexander Calder, the sculptor. His parents were artists and, from the age of 8, he always had his own workshop. Calder threw himself into creating paintings, mobiles, sculptures and other media. Many people found his art uplifting and Calder described his approach as: “I want to make things that are fun to look at.” He used his joy to encourage other people.

Embarking on working with people in the 60s, I met many individuals who were on their personal journeys. Some strove to completely understand their personalities. They believed that then – and only then – could they move onto meaningful action. Others maintained that: “Reflection is vital – but the real test is applying the lessons. If you are angry about schools, then improve education. If you are upset about unfairness, then enable people to improve their life-chances. If you are fed-up with ugliness in our cities, then create beautiful buildings.” Many people took this second route. Viktor Frankl translated his journey through concentration camps into the inspiring Man’s Search For Meaning. Elisabeth Hoodless took over from Alec Dickson to spread the work of Community Service Volunteers. Henry Pluckrose converted his concern for children into spell-binding education at Prior Weston Primary School in the Barbican.

Let’s return to your own life and work. You may have many emotions about different experiences – such as feeling happy, stressed, creative, frustrated or whatever. Can you translate any of these feelings into a ‘project’ that helps other people? You may want to enable them to find their talents, run inspiring workshops, create a beautiful product, educate people to care for their health, find solutions to problems or whatever. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to use
my feelings to help other people are:

*

*

*

3) You can use your feelings to build a better world.

“How can you leave a positive legacy? How can you encourage future generations? How can you plant seeds of hope during your life?” These are the key questions facing people. Many parents, for example, want to forge a better life for their children. They may buy a house, provide a loving environment and encourage their children to get a good education. Some people want to improve institutions – such schools, hospitals, work places and societies. Some build positive prototypes that show other ways of living, learning and working. What is your preferred way of building a better world?

Many of the people I admire took three steps. First, they pursued a positive way of working with people. Second, they wrote about this approach – often showing a new paradigm. Third, they passed-on their knowledge through writing, teaching and sharing experience. This was the path taken by people such as Abraham Maslow, Viktor Frankl, David Wills, George Lyward, George Dennison, Virginia Satir, Virginia Axline, E.F. Schumacher, Alec Dickson, Cecily Saunders and Wangari Maathai. You will, of course, follow your path in your way. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to use
my feelings to build a better world are:

*

*

*

Feelings are ‘material’. We can then translate this experience into tangible work that helps other people. In this way, everybody is an artist. They can then use their feelings to build a better world.

Bookmark It