“I like working with people who are making the ‘new rules’ in their chosen field,” said one person. “Certainly I can help those who are trying to be creative inside the ‘old rules’, but sometimes institutions can squash people’s enthusiasm. It’s great encouraging individuals and teams who are pioneering the way.”

Let’s imagine you want to work with people who are making the new rules. Here are three steps you can take towards helping them to succeed.

1) You can identify the people who are making the ‘new rules’.

Start by identifying the people who are either pioneers or working in pioneering fields. The first group will probably be people who believe in following certain principles to achieve the ‘prize’. They won’t be into ‘painting by numbers’. At the same time, however, they know it is vital for them to produce the goods. This will be especially so if they are aiming to do pioneering work in an established organisation. They recognise that: “If you are going to be a deviant, you have to over-deliver.” The second group will probably be in the ‘newer industries’. These may include new media, social networking organisations, marketing, high tech and even parts of retail. Both groups of people believe it is vital to ‘show a better way’.

Looking around your network – and elsewhere – who are the people who fall into these two categories? Try completing the following sentence.

The people who are making the new rules are:

*

*

*

2) You can clarify what you can offer to the people who are making the ‘new rules’.

You can tackle this part by doing three things. First, clarify the specific products or services that you can offer to the people who are making the new rules. Second, clarify the specific challenges that these people may be facing. Third, clarify how what you can offer can help these people to succeed. “I found this part difficult,” said one person. “It called for getting inside the customers’ heads and clarifying the benefits of what I offer. Certainly I should be doing this anyway, but it was a good discipline.” Try completing the following sentences.

The specific things – the products or services – I can
offer to people who are making the new rules are:

*

*

*

The specific challenges facing the people
who are making the new rules may be:

*

*

*

The specific benefits these people
can get from the things I offer are:

*

*

*

3) You can work with these people and help them to succeed by making the new rules.

“Five years ago I started this recruitment business which specialises in working with new media companies,” said one 35-year-old MD. “Now I have 30 employees, a turnover of £10 million and a profit of £500k. We built this company by offering something new in our field. Certainly we could make shed-loads of money by operating like a ‘traditional’ recruitment agency. But we really aim to put the right people in the right places in the right companies. This calls for making sure there is a ‘values-fit’. Once I spent my time getting out to customers, building relationships and satisfying their demands. But now I spend my time supervising our people and fire-fighting. My senior colleagues and I need to get into the market and stay close to our customers, but it is proving difficult to do that and run the business. Have you any suggestions?”

How would you work with this MD? The person who did so helped the MD and their leadership team:

* To communicate the vision throughout the business;

* To hire an operations director – a ‘co-ordinator’ – who took care of the day-to-day operations;

* To get the senior partners to do what they did best – building relationships with key decision-makers in client companies;

* To practice what they preached to other companies – clarifying their own company values, then recruiting and rewarding people who lived these values.

* To stay strategic – continually asking themselves: “What are the 3 key things we can do to give ourselves the greatest chance of success?”

Putting these principles into practice, the company increased its profit to 10% of turnover. It also improved its ratings on customer satisfaction and internal morale. (The latter called for starting again with a blank piece of paper and asking: “If we were to start this business again tomorrow, which of our people would we rehire?” Then acting on this information.) The company went from strength to strength.

Let’s return to your potential clients. How can you help them to succeed by following the new rules? Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to work with these people
and help them to succeed by following the new rules are:

*

*

*

Everybody knows the rules of work have changed, but many organisations still operate as if they are in the 1970s. Certainly it is possible to help people to get more oxygen in these organisations. But you may prefer to work with those that are making the new rules for work.

Everybody has wisdom they can pass on to future generations. So how can you clarify the lessons you have learned in your life? Try tackling the exercise on this theme called Wise words. Imagine that you have been invited to address a group of 18-year-olds. You have been given 10 minutes to give them 3 key messages that they may want to bear in mind in their future lives. What would you tell them? You can clarify your approach by taking the following steps.

1) Clarify the first message you would give to the young people.

One managing director said: “My first message would be: ‘Be positive. Whatever happens, you always have a choice. When you meet setbacks – and you will – you can lie down and sulk or get up and build a better world. Count your blessings. If you live in a rich country, like many of us do, you will probably have food, a home and enough money. You will also have your health, your friends and your talents. You can choose to do your best each day – or you can choose to be miserable. Remember, it is always your choice.’”

What would be your first key message? How could you bring it to life with real examples? Try completing the following sentences.

The first key message I would
give to the young people would be:

*

The things I would say to bring it to life
with concrete examples would be:

*

*

*

2) Clarify the second message you would give to the young people.

The managing director said: “My second message would be: ‘Do positive work and, if you wish, find somebody to pay you for doing it. Young people are often idealistic, but it can be hard to hold onto your dreams. The good news is that it is possible. I have met many older people who are fresh, vibrant and still learning. They were all doing work they loved that helped other people. Some were doctors, nurses and teachers. But others were architects, sports coaches, software designers or leaders. They all had a sense of purpose and they expressed it by doing positive work. This provided them with strength when times got tough.’”

What would be your second key message? How could you bring it to life with real examples? Try completing the following sentences.

The second key message I would
give to the young people would be:

*

The things I would say to bring it to life
with concrete examples would be:

*

*

*

3) Clarify the third message you would give to the young people.

The managing director said: “My third message sounds rather odd coming from somebody in business, but I would say it anyway. It is: ‘Follow your positive energy. Let me explain what I mean. First, focus on the interests that fill you with enthusiasm. For example, the subjects you study at university, the books you want to read, the countries you want to explore. Second, choose a job you find fascinating. Do work you enjoy and get somebody to pay you for doing it. Third, choose to be with people with whom you feel alive. Spend time with them, rather those who are negative. And, of course, be a person who gives positive energy to other people.’”

What would be your third key message? How could you bring it to life with real examples? Try completing the following sentences.

The third key message I would
give to the young people would be:

*

The things I would say to bring it to life
with concrete examples would be:

*

*

*

Sometimes I use the Wise words exercise on workshops. Participants imagine they are going to talk to a group of 18-year-olds – then read out their messages to us on the workshop. They soon realise, of course, that they are writing their own philosophy. Then comes the journey of living it in their daily lives.

There are many models for making creative breakthroughs. One approach is to go through the stages of immersion, incubation and insight. Imagine that you want to develop an idea or make sense of a puzzle. You may want to develop a successful strategy, solve a conflict, understand how something works or whatever. Start by describing the theme you want to explore. Then move on to the first step of the process – immersion.

The idea I want to develop – the creative
breakthrough I want to make – is:

* ____________________________________________________________________

1) You can focus on immersion.

Looking back on your life, how have you made creative breakthroughs? One person said:

“Sometimes the idea comes quickly, but normally I follow a certain process. First, I clarify what I want to achieve. Second, I gather lots of information and let it sink in. Third, I begin to see patterns and this results in what some people call ‘illumination’. Finally, I implement the idea and aim to make a positive impact.”

This approach mirrors that described by James Webb Young in his book A Technique For Producing Ideas, published in 1965. He suggested the following process.

* Gather as much raw information as possible.

* Chew it over and get your first ideas out of your system.

* Stop thinking about the subject and let your subconscious go to work.

* Be ready for the ideas to flow at any time.

* Shape and develop the idea for practical usefulness.

Peak performers immerse themselves deeply in their chosen field. They are obsessive in the way they gather information, look for patterns and work to shape future events. Some develop the ability ‘to know what will happen before it happens’.

Try tackling the exercise on this theme. Bearing in mind what you want to explore, describe how you can immerse yourself fully in this topic. This might include gathering data, interviewing people and studying what works in the field. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to immerse
myself in my chosen topic are:

*

*

*

2) You can focus on incubation.

Good ideas take time to incubate. Jonas Salk, pioneer of the polio vaccine, wrote: “There is a moment of conception and a moment of birth, but between them there is a long period of gestation.” Some people find the ‘incubation period’ to be frustrating: partly because they fear it may drift over into procrastination. As people get older, however, they learn how to put themselves into the right ‘incubation situation’. This might mean resting, listening to music, walking, talking, surrounding themselves with positive stimulation or whatever.

Looking back on your life, when have you made good use of such incubation times? What did you do right then? How can you follow similar principles in the future? Arthur Koestler, author of The Act of Creation, wrote: “Creative activity could be described as a type of learning process where teacher and pupil are located in the same individual.” Sometimes this process takes patience, however, and knowing how to use the incubation times. Try completing the following exercise.

The specific things I can do to accept and
make good use of the incubation times are:

*

*

*

3) You can focus on insight.

Graham Wallas described one approach to making creative breakthroughs in his book The Art of Thought, published in 1926. He outlined the stages of preparation, incubation, intimation – a person feeling the solution is on its way – illumination and then verification.

So what happens at the ‘Ah Yes!’ moment? This is obviously different for different people. Everybody has their own sensation of what happens when making breakthroughs. For me there is a sense of lightness when things fall into place. Frequently this is accompanied by finding a model that makes sense of experience. But for me there is one proviso. The model must embody the characteristics of good design. It must be simple, satisfying and help people to achieve success.

Try tackling the exercise on this theme. Describe what happens for you at the time of insight. Depending on your learning style, you may recognise patterns; make connections; see a picture; create a model; or keep working until something looks, feels and sounds right. Different people experience different sensations; so what happens for you? This is a difficult question, but the answers can be rewarding. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things that happen for me at the
time of insight – when things fall into place - are:

*

*

*

Some people see insight as an end in itself, but others see it as the start of another journey. They want to implement the idea and make a positive impact. You will use your insight in your own way, of course, to develop an idea, solve a problem or make a creative breakthrough.

Imagine you are running an educational session. How can you help people to grow? One approach is to learn from great educators. Such people often start by establishing clarity – the real results the students want to achieve – and making clear working contracts. They then go through three dimensions.

* They introduce the concept.

* They bring it to life by giving concrete examples.

* They move into the third dimension and go deeper by passing on caring wisdom.

This final step may involve sharing knowledge from the eternal principles that help people succeed.

Imagine that you are going to lead an educational session for a specific group of people. Let’s explore how you might run such a session.

* Start by establishing clarity – the concrete results to achieve – and making clear contracts.

Try tackling the exercise on this theme. First, describe the specific group of people for whom you are running the session. You may, for example, be working with a team of counsellors, a creative team, a company’s leadership team or another group. Second, describe the aims of the session. (You will, of course, check these with people to ensure you are all heading towards the same goals.) Third, describe what you see as your role and their roles in making it a successful session. Try completing the following exercise.

Looking at the exercise above, let’s imagine you aim to run an introductory session on The Art of Counselling. You may introduce it by saying something like:

“Welcome. The aims of today’s session are to focus on: a) The definition of counselling; b) The skills of counselling; c) The specific ways that you can use counselling skills. My role is to provide an overview, describe the key principles and give practical examples. The role I would like you to play is to encourage each other, take the ideas you like and add these to your repertoire. Are there any other themes you would like to explore? Okay, let’s begin.”

Whatever topic you are teaching, it is important to establish clarity and make clear working contracts. Check everybody understands, then move on to the next stage.

1) You can focus on the first dimension – the concept.

Great educators begin the actual work by introducing the first concept. So you may want to give the context, provide a model, ask people to revisit their own experiences or whatever. Different educators have different ways of giving the big picture.

If you are teaching about counselling, one approach is to start by asking people if they have any experience in this area. They may have provided counselling for students, employees or other people. Alternatively, they may have received counselling after an accident or other setback. Building on what they have said, you can then give an overview of the recent history of counselling. This may include, for example, the pioneering work of Carl Rogers, the growth of the self-help movement and the blurred borders between counselling and psychotherapy. You may then return to following the definition you plan to use during the session.

Counselling takes place when:

The person seeks help in a situation that may be causing difficulty. They are able to talk a caring environment, make sense of their experience and gather the strength to move forward. If appropriate, they explore their options and take more control of shaping their future.

The counsellor provides a caring environment in which the person feels safe and valued. They explain what they can and can’t offer – then make clear working contracts. The counsellor encourages the person to explore and, if possible, make sense of their experience. If appropriate, they enable the person to consider their options and take charge of shaping their future.

————–

‘Classical Counselling’ is non-directive. It provides a sanctuary in which people can feel at home and talk without fear of judgement. The process of ‘healing’ or ‘growth’ comes through the act of exploring and making sense of their experience. There are, of course, different views on the effectiveness of such an approach. Carl Rogers, who is considered the founder of modern counselling, believed that:

* The person who comes for counselling simply has ‘problems of living’. They also have ‘a drive towards self-actualisation’. This drive presses towards fulfilment and, if able to be expressed properly, increases the person’s chances of becoming healthy. If the drive is frustrated, the person may experience difficulties, some of which may be displayed in various symptoms.

* The helper’s role is to create an encouraging environment that facilitates the person’s growth. They can achieve this by being genuine, showing empathy and having unconditional positive regard. These are called the ‘core conditions’ for providing a good environment.

* The person feels valued and encouraged in the counselling situation. They are then more likely to be their real self, set goals and work towards fulfilling their potential. They can pursue their drive towards self-actualisation.

Carl Rogers believed the key was to provide the right environment. People could then develop their inner strength and pursue their chosen path. Counselling was one vehicle for enabling people to become what they wanted to become.

———————————–

Let’s return to the educational session you are running. Try tackling the exercise about introducing the concept. You may be teaching about counselling, creativity, leadership or whatever. First, describe the concept you want to introduce. Second, describe the specific things you can do to introduce this idea. Try completing the follow exercise.

2) You can focus on the second dimension – the concrete examples.

Great educators bring the concepts to life by giving concrete examples. How to make this happen? One approach is to get into the habit of introducing an idea and then saying: “For example _____.” This forces you to give illustrations that resonate with the particular audience.

Imagine that you are running a session on counselling. You may want to give specific examples by saying something like the following.

“Counselling skills can be used in many situations. For example, to help people: a) To explore their feelings; b) To make sense of a tough situation; d) To emotionally recover from abuse, an accident or other setback; c) To work through post-traumatic stress syndrome; e) To make transitions in their life and work. The aim is to enable people to feel more in control of shaping their future. Let’s try an exercise on this theme.”

“First, looking ahead, think of a specific situation in which you may need to practice counselling skills. For example, you may be helping somebody who has lost a job, suffered bereavement or faces a challenge. So choose a specific situation where you might use such skills in the future.”

“Second, make a flip chart describing the ‘Dos’ and ‘Don’ts’ for facilitating such a session. Remember, classical counselling helps somebody to explore the emotional side of the situation. If the person feels it may be useful, they can also consider the practical ways forward. The key, however, is that the person must feel in charge.”

“Be as specific as possible when describing the ‘Dos’ and ‘Don’ts’. For example, if you say: ‘Make the person feel welcome,’ describe the specific behaviour you can demonstrate to achieve this goal. Imagine that you are giving detailed directions for a film scene. Write in plain English, rather than ‘therapeutic language’. Describe the specific things that you will actually ‘Do’. Spend 20 minutes writing your flip chart. Then we will share the ideas.”

——————-

Let’s return to the educational session that you may be running. There are many ways to bring an idea to life. Try tackling the exercise on this theme. Describe the specific things you can do to move from the concept to concrete examples that resonate with people in the group. Try completing the follow exercise.

3) You can focus on the third dimension – the caring wisdom.

Some educators go into a third dimension. They go deeper and pass on caring wisdom. This often involves revisiting some of the eternal principles. The ‘wisdom’ that is shared obviously differs from subject to subject, but the process remains similar. The educator wants to pass on timeless knowledge that enables students to succeed. So they may say something like:

“Today we have been looking at ______. But sometimes it can be useful to revisit some of the principles that people have followed over time. These principles include, for example:

* ____________________________________________________

* ____________________________________________________

* ____________________________________________________

“The ways that people have followed these principles have included, for example:

* ____________________________________________________

* ____________________________________________________

* ____________________________________________________

“Each of us must obviously find our own ways of doing things. But sometimes it can be useful to revisit and learn from these eternal principles.”

How does this approach work in practice? The themes you highlight will differ from topic to topic, but imagine that you are running a session on counselling. The timeless principles you cover may include the following three (though there are many more). Counselling highlights the importance of being able:

a) To take time in a sanctuary where you can reflect.

This is path taken by people throughout history. Seekers have used their sanctuary time to focus on the eternal truths, make sense of experience and clarify the way ahead. It is vital to feel safe in the sanctuary, but it is also good to get stimulation. People may achieve this by being close to nature, studying the great philosophies, being creative, focusing on their values or whatever. If appropriate, bring this theme to life by describing people in history that have spent time in a stimulating sanctuary.

b) To develop your inner strength.

People often develop strength by focusing on their chosen faith, vocation or life goals. Some gain it by tapping into their own or other people’s experience. Good counsellors, for example, help people to identify their inner strength by revisiting their positive history. So they may ask the person:

“Looking back on your life, have you even been in a similar situation and come through it successfully? What did you do right then? What were the principles you followed? How can you follow these principles in the present situation?”

Again, if appropriate, bring this theme to life by describing people in history who have developed their inner strength and tackled challenges successfully.

c) To be able to shape your future.

Counselling enables people to do some ‘slow thinking’. They have the opportunity to see things in perspective, clarify what is important and choose their way forward. Viktor Frankl, for example, describes how prisoners ‘chose their attitude’, even in the midst of the Nazi Concentration Camps. People need to feel in control: this is one of the eternal principles. Counselling can help people to take this step in their own way. If appropriate, describe people in history who have taken time out to clarify their options and shape their future.

—————–

There are many ways to pass on caring wisdom. Whatever theme you are teaching, it is good to highlight the key principles that seem to work – and the paths that people seem to follow – throughout history. The students can then choose to follow these in their own ways.

Let’s return to the educational session you may be running. Bearing in mind the topic you will be teaching, try tackling the exercise on this theme. Describe the caring wisdom you want to pass on to people. If possible, think of people in history who have followed these principles successfully. Try completing the following exercise.

There are many ways to help people to succeed. One approach is to clarify the results to achieve. You can then aim to introduce the concept, give concrete examples and, if appropriate, pass on caring wisdom.

There are many ways to help people to achieve their goals. Some approaches focus on people’s strengths; some on their limitations; some on understanding and changing their feelings. Another approach is for a person to focus on their ‘sequences’ of behaviour. They may follow certain sequences, for example, that result in successful or unsuccessful outcomes. People can capitalise-on or change these patterns. This involves choosing their attitude, taking specific actions and thereby increasing their chances of achievement. The ‘sequence approach’ can help people who want to take more control of their lives, manage stress, change a habit, give up an addiction, be more successful or whatever. Let’s explore how this works in practice.

1) You can help people to understand sequences.

“My father died recently and since then I have had panic attacks,” said Laura. “This is upsetting, because I am normally a calm person. My father’s death was unexpected – and he and I were close. Since his death I have taken care of everything: the funeral, my mother, relatives, solicitors, everything. This is normally the case in the family and at work – but now I can’t take care of myself. Suddenly I get panic attacks in the street or at work and it is very embarrassing. Certainly I know it will take time to come to terms with my father’s death and I expect to get mood swings. But I just need to find a way of dealing with the panic attacks and giving myself space to get on with my life.”

How to find a solution? Like many challenges, the key issue revolved around a person wanting to be more in control. Laura recognised she may not be able to control her mood swings as these were part of grieving. She wanted to control of her behaviour, however, rather than succumb to panic attacks. Trying to ‘fight them’ did not work – so we took another approach. Did she know when the attacks were going to happen? What were the warning signs? What preceded the attack? Laura described the ‘sequence’ of what happened.

a) She felt tired through lack of sleep - often after spending hours ‘counselling’ other people.

b) She was trying to concentrate on something – such as a task she must do at work.

c) She felt tingling in her hands – which then crept up her body;

d) She felt detached and began to feel dizzy.

e) She had difficulty in breathing and started to sweat.

f) She wanted to escape from the situation and, if possible, find a place to be quiet.

g) She managed to recover after 10 minutes – and was able to resume what she had been doing before the attack.

Looking at this pattern, we saw where Laura could intervene to take more charge of the sequence. The question was: “How?” Looking back at her life, we explored how she had managed stress successfully. “I play music,” explained Laura.”Putting on my iPod, I go into my own world and, even if only for five minutes, it works. I feel refreshed and ready to return to the world.” Later we will return to see what actually happened with Laura.

People learn to see how they follow certain sequences. Some of these patterns may be helpful, some may be hurtful. People who are addicts, for example, develop patterns that become a ritual. They begin thinking about a fix – be it tobacco, alcohol or whatever – anticipate how it will feel, get physical sensations, perhaps approach a friend who also wants a fix, take the first action step – such as reaching for the cigarette packet or whatever – and travel the road towards a specific outcome. If a person wants to ‘ditch the habit’, they must: a) See the benefits; b) Commit to achieving a specific goal; c) Develop a new sequence that is equally or more rewarding. People who are peak performers also follow certain sequences. They know that following certain habits will increase their chances of achieving success.

2) You can help people to change their sequences.

Laura looked at ways she could ‘intervene’ to prevent panic attacks. She started by building on the right foundations. This meant getting enough sleep and spending time with encouragers – rather than only counselling others. She planned to eat properly, which she had failed to do since her father’s death. Laura then tackled the first warning signs – the tingling sensation in her hands. She could change the sequence by introducing her successful pattern - creating the space to play her favourite music. Sometimes it might not be possible to use her iPod, so we developed other strategies for feeling calm. She spent 30 minutes creating her action plan and rehearsing scenarios. Laura focused on the specific actions she could take to make the transition to a calmer state. Two months later she reported that, whilst still experiencing mood swings, there were no panic attics. Laura felt more in control and more able to shape her future.

Couples also develop sequences. During the 1970s I was part of a team that practiced family therapy and we often came across certain patterns. Sometimes a married couple would launch into a fight, with one person saying to the other: “You always do that.” “No I don’t,” came the reply, “you are always complaining.” “You are attacking me again,” was the response, “do you know how that makes me feel?” The couple were travelling down a painful road. Both knew the outcome: tears, sulking, distance and, perhaps, attempts at reconciliation. Certainly it was vital to explore the marriage foundations but, before then, they needed some breathing space. So we helped the couple to try another sequence. Spotting the first signs of an argument, they might choose to go apart for 10 minutes – maybe one going out for a walk. Returning to talk, they could listen and encourage each other – perhaps like they did on their first date! The couples learned to spot new warning signs, ‘buy time’ and then embark on a more successful sequence.

3) You can help people to develop successful sequences.

Take a look at your own life and work – especially the specific activities in which you deliver As. You probably know exactly what you can do to give yourself the greatest chance of success. You know how to make decisions, set priorities, manage your time, focus, follow your daily disciplines, get early wins, encourage yourself or whatever. (You will probably also know how to make sure you don’t succeed!)

How can you capitalise on what you know works? Try tackling the following exercise. First, describe a specific goal you want to achieve. Second, describe the specific things you can do to follow your successful sequence and achieve the goal. Third, describe the benefits of achieving the goal. Try completing the following sentences.

The specific goal I want to achieve is:

*

The specific things I can do to follow my
successful sequence and achieve the goal are:

*

*

*

The benefits of achieving the goal will be:

*

*

*

There are many ways of enabling people to achieve their goals. One of the most effective is to help them to develop successful sequences.

There are many different approaches to therapy. Each is based on certain assumptions about people and how they can achieve their goals. This piece gives an introduction to ‘choice therapy’. Such an approach is strongly influenced by existential psychology and expressed in theories such as reality therapy, logotherapy – plus the work of some self-help groups. The article shows how a practitioner might facilitate such a session.

Choice therapy rests on certain assumptions. These include that it is important: to create a caring atmosphere; to have high expectations of people; to treat the client like a responsible adult – even if they are not behaving that way; to expect them to take responsibility; to clarify how they can shape their future; to help them to set clear goals; to make clear contracts about working together; to clarify the person’s ‘controllables’; to clarify their possible choices – the options - for achieving their goals; to clarify the consequences of each option; to explore creative solutions; to employ the person’s strengths to reach their goals; to encourage them to choose the route they want to take to shape their future; to provide support, knowledge and tools on the journey; to get some early successes; to work together for as long as you both wish on the road towards achieving their goals.

Let’s imagine you have had several years experience practicing this approach. Here is a snapshot of how you might facilitate such a session. But it is obviously does not provide a qualification for actually practicing the therapy.

1) You can create a caring environment and help the person to clarify their goals.

Imagine somebody has asked for your help in tackling a specific challenge. They may want to take more control of their life, overcome a setback, tackle a particular problem or whatever. The first step is to have an informal conversation over the phone. You listen, say you are happy to help, explain your way of working and then ask the person to reflect on whether they would like to go ahead. Let’s assume they want to meet. Here is what you can do during the first session.

Start by creating an encouraging environment. Welcome the person and make them feel at home. Invite them to again explain the reason they are looking for help. It is vital to accept their feelings are real for them – even though they might sound crazy to other people. This is the ‘first empathy’ – showing that you understand the person’s actual situation. You will soon move towards the ‘second empathy’. This is focusing on the person’s aspirations – what they want to feel, do and achieve – their picture of success. Explain what you can and can’t offer. If the person wants to proceed, make clear working contracts. Agree on your and their role in working to achieve their goals.

Let me give an example. Recently I was approached by a person – let’s call him Derry - who felt overcome by stress. He often broke into cold sweats, felt ill and got angry with loved ones at home. Certainly he could learn techniques for managing the stress, but the causes were obviously deep. So I explained we could achieve this short-tem goal but, if he wished, also focus on his medium and long-term goals. Derry said this would be useful, because he felt deeply unhappy at work. We agreed on the contract. My responsibility was to listen and clarify his goals – then provide support and tools he could use to succeed. His role was to shape his future and do whatever he felt appropriate to achieve his goals. Derry accepted there were no ‘miracle cures’ and bought into the working contract.

You can now clarify the person’s goals. There are several guidelines when taking this step. It is important: a) To state the goals in positive terms. For example, Derry said: “I want to feel less stressful.” So we translated this into a positive goal: “I want to feel calm in a specific situation.” b) To clarify the person’s short term goals but, if appropriate, also their medium and long-term goals. Derry wanted to focus on his life-goals. These included working in a culture where he felt at ease – one that was supportive yet stretching. c) To clarify his ‘controllables’. For example, a person can control their attitude, they can’t control other people’s opinions. d) To revisit their goals and translate these into a clear picture of success. e) to, if they have several goals, list these in order of priority – then focus on the first topic they want to tackle.

Certainly this sounds ‘logical’ – but it must be done in a warm and encouraging way. You then have the basis for working well together. Imagine you are conducting such a session. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to create a caring environment,
make clear working contracts and clarify the person’s goals are:

*

*

*

2) You help the person to choose and pursue their strategies for achieving their goals.

Start by tackling the first goal. Invite the person to consider all the potential routes they can take to achieve success. Whenever possible, draw these out from the person. If appropriate, you can also share other potential routes. This is an opportunity to share your knowledge – but watch the person to see which ideas resonate – then add these to the strategies for moving forward. Invite the person to consider the consequences of each route – the pluses and minuses. At the end of this section you may want to summarise by saying something like:

“Looking at the goals you want to achieve, there are many different strategies you can follow. Option A is to: _____ Option B is to: ___________ Option C is to: ________ There are probably many more options, some of which we will explore in a moment. Each route has both pluses and minuses. If you choose Option A the consequences are: ___________ Option B the consequences are: ____________ Option C the consequences are: __________ Some options are more attractive than others, but ultimately it is going to be your choice. Shall we explore some other possible solutions?”

There are many approaches to exploring creative solutions – such as brainstorming, sharing practical tools, exploring successful patterns or whatever. “But what if a person goes into ‘Yes, but,’ mode?” somebody may ask. “What do you do then?” Return to the beginning and clarify the goals they want to achieve – the ‘what’. Be positive and encourage the person – but do not try to ‘persuade’. The person ultimately has the right to behave as they wish. There will be consequences, of course, both for themselves and other people. Assuming the person wants to achieve their goals, it’s then time to move onto potential creative solutions.

Returning to the session with Derry, for example, I invited him to explore his positive history. Looking back at his life, when had managed stress successfully? What had he done right then? How could he follow similar principles in the future? Fifteen minutes later he had clarified his successful pattern and translated this into an action plan for staying calm. Derry’s key issue revolved around feeling in control. This was exemplified in difficult meetings at work where he felt attacked. Looking ahead to the next such meeting, we clarified the results he wanted to achieve and rehearsed tackling the actual situation. Derry felt good about his strategies, but was still concerned about losing control.

So he made an action plan for staying calm. This involved taking the following steps. a) To recognise the potential warning signs. Such as starting to feel distant and dizzy, which then led to cold sweats. b) To implement his successful pattern for staying calm. This meant ‘buying time’ by, for instance, getting up to pour a cup of coffee, breathing calmly and clarifying the results he wanted to achieve in the situation. c) To be calm, speak slowly and try to find positive solutions with the other people. If this was not possible, instead of being rushed into a decision, he would promise to get back to them with suggestions. Derry and I role-played the situation and kept going until he felt satisfied with his chosen strategy. We then moved onto the next topic he wanted to tackle – finding a stimulating role in a supportive yet stretching culture.

Different people will, of course, follow this path in their own way. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to help a person to explore their choices,
consequences & creative solutions – then choose their way forward are:

*

*

*

3) You can continue to help the person pursue their chosen strategies towards to achieving their goals.

Imagine the person has put their action plan into practice. Start the second meeting by clarifying what they want to explore – their desired ‘take aways’ from the session. Before getting into those topics, however, ask if it is appropriate to review the action plan. Invite the person to describe: a) The things they did well; b) The things they could do better next time; c) The things they have learned and can apply in the future. You can then move into the first topic they want to explore in this second session.

Choice therapy starts by providing a caring environment. It then involves helping the person to clarify their goals, explore the potential choices, consequences and find creative solutions. The key differentiating factors, however, stem from the basic assumptions about people. These include encouraging people to take responsibility, be creative and pursue their chosen strategies. It is then providing support to help them achieve ongoing success. You would, of course, follow these principles in your own way. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to continue to
help the person to achieve their goals are:

*

*

*

How can you create your perfect role? Imagine that your present job is okay - but it isn’t fulfilling. On the other hand, you know ‘What’ you do best and ‘How’ you work best. Promotion is a possibility, but the more status you get, the less time you spend doing what you love. You want to return to work that gives you a buzz. So how to find or create such a role? Three routes stand out. You can focus on your present role, craft a potential role or generate possible new audiences. Let’s explore these roads.

1) Present role.

You can try to use your ‘A’ talent more often in your present job. Sounds attractive but - unless you are already in your perfect role - the chances are around 5/10. Why? There are two reasons. First, roles are often ‘historical’. Today’s fast moving world calls for finding new ways to achieve success – but established organisations often stick to the old format. Second, roles consist of countless tasks that are ‘givens’. They are handed down from headquarters and may not fit your talents. Completing this grunt work leaves little time for doing great work.

How to rate the chances of fulfillment in your present role? One approach is to ask yourself: “Bearing in mind my strengths, what percentage of my time is devoted to doing what I do best?” The minimum figure must be 50% plus. You may then have a chance of expanding the role into one that is fulfilling. Try completing the following sentence.

The steps I can take to do more
satisfying work in my present role are:

*

*

*

Perhaps it is possible to do more fulfilling work by redefining your present role. If not, you may want to explore the second route.

2) Potential role.

You can craft a potential role that is a ‘Win-Win’ for both you and an employer. Providing you have enlightened employers, the chances are around 6/10. The key is convincing sponsors that they will benefit. How to make this happen? Decision-makers always want improve their profitability, product quality and people. So demonstrate how your suggestion will improve these factors. Focus on the ‘results’, rather than the role. One tip: do not go with an ‘idea’ - go with your first 3 customers.

“My manager was encouraging,” said one person, “but explained that I was too valuable in my present role. Moving me was too risky. So we agreed a contract to find and coach my successor. The recruitment process took 3 months, but eventually I moved to a role I found more fulfilling.”

People buy benefits: so show how crafting a new contribution will improve the business. Try completing the following sentence.

The steps I can take to find or create a
potential role that is more satisfying are:

*

*

*

Sometimes this approach works, sometimes you may move onto exploring the third route.

3) Possible new audiences.

You can find or generate new audiences - people who will pay for your ‘A’ talent. This is the route taken by many pioneers in business, the arts, sports and other fields. One key point: the new audience may be inside or outside your present organisation. Providing a person is prepared to work hard and use their imagination, the chances of success are 8+/10. Some people explore all 3 routes on the route towards employing their ‘A’ talent. Here’s an example of how it works in practice.

Imagine you are a backing-singer in the West End musical Chicago, but you want to earn a living singing soul music. You can inject soul into your nightly role, but it may not be fully satisfying. You can approach the Director to show how doing a solo spot will be a ‘win-win’ and contribute to achieving the musical’s goals. But ultimately you may need to generate an audience for your soul music. Performing in clubs on Sunday nights can build a following, sell records and eventually lead to your own show. Pioneers frequently take this third route - they find sponsors who will pay them for using their ‘A’ talent. Try completing the following sentence.

The steps I can take to find or generate possible
audiences who will pay me for doing satisfying work are:

*

*

*

“Sounds hard work,” somebody may say. That’s true - but it much more difficult doing something that isn’t fulfilling. It’s also exciting shaping your future. Providing you are prepared to be persistent, you will often find it is possible to create your perfect role.

People’s language often indicates their personal philosophy. It also shows their ‘mental model’. This is how they see events, process information and ‘reframe reality’. Imagine that two people are faced by an event such as the Credit Crunch. After an initial period of re-gathering their strength, somebody with a positive mental model is more likely to focus on ‘opportunities’, rather than ‘obstacles’. Somebody with a negative mental model is more likely to focus on ‘problems’, rather than possibilities.

People’s mental models are often expressed in their language. This has an effect on both themselves and other people. Positive language tends to generate strength; negative language tends to generate worry. But it is important to be careful here; because ‘positive language’ does not necessarily mean waving one’s arms around and using lots of uplifting messages. When the US’s Apollo 13 moon flight crew said: “Houston, we’ve had a problem,” this was expressed in a matter of fact way. The calmness generated enabled people to tackle the issue creatively. Such language is a far cry from the scare-mongering headlines generated by newspapers that induce worry to sell more papers. So let’s look at the language that people use in their lives and work.

1) You can recognise positive language and negative language.

What do you react to when you meet a new person? Many of us respond to something quite intangible. Being with somebody for the first time, we often pick-up on the ‘spirit’ the person emanates. They may come across, for example, as positive, negative or neutral. Certainly this can say as much about us – and our mental model – as it does about the other person. Discounting this for a moment, however, we pick up on the person’s being: their behaviour, language and the messages they give. Here we are just looking at the language they use. People’s language - and the way this influences others – is made up of many factors.

* The tone – the way they express themselves.

The tone a person emanates is often an expression of their attitude. Some people generate a positive spirit. They tend to be upbeat, energetic and, when faced by a setback, look for solutions. They give energy to others. Some people generate a negative spirit. They may enter the room with a sigh, complain or cast themselves as ‘observer critics’. They drain energy from other people.

* The text – the words they use to express themselves.

Some people use phrases like: “We can … the possibilities are … the opportunities are … let’s build on what we have in common.” Others use phrases like: “We can’t … the problems are … the obstacles are … let me play Devil’s Advocate.”

Al Siebert, author of The Survivor Personality, says that real hope-givers are ‘positive realists’. They have a positive outlook on life, yet are also realistic, rather than blindly optimistic. When communicating with other people, they are aware of the power of words. Different phrases generate different kinds of energy.

* The total effect – the influence they have on other people.

People who are ‘givers’ tend to be aware of the effect they have on others. They ask themselves: “How can I encourage people? How can I help them to succeed? How are people reacting?” People who are ‘takers’ tend to be self-indulgent. They simply want to express their feelings and opinions, rather than being concerned with how these helps others.

Try tackling the exercise on this theme. First, describe what you believe to be the kinds of ‘positive language’ that people use. Such language generates positive energy. Second, describe what you believe is the ‘negative language’ that people use. Such language often generates negative energy. Try completing the following sentences.

Positive language. The kinds of words and
phrases that often generate positive energy are:

*

*

*

Negative language. The kinds of words and
phrases that often generate negative energy are:

*

*

*

2) You can use positive language, rather than negative language.

Looking at your own life and work, what kind of language do you use when talking with people? Much depends, of course, on the ‘scripts’ you were exposed to early in life. Looking back at your family, education and youth, what kind of language did you hear? What kinds of messages were given to you people?

You may have been given messages such as: “Life is for living … Let’s appreciate what we have … We can work things out … Be true to yourself … Concentrate on what you can do, rather than compare yourself with others … You can only do your best … There are solutions to most challenges.” Or you may have heard: “Life is difficult, don’t expect too much … Life is not fair … There are lots of problems … Dog eats dog, so you have to compete … Keep working hard, but you will never be as good as others … Listen to the news, the world is full of problems.”

What kind of language did you hear during your formative years? Try tackling the exercise on this theme. First, describe the positive language you heard when you were growing up. Second, describe the negative language you heard when growing up. Try completing the following sentences.

The positive language I heard when growing up –
in the family, education and my youth - was:

*

*

*

The negative language I heard when growing up –
in the family, education and my youth - was:

*

*

*

3) You can use positive language in the future.

Winston Churchill said: “We shape our buildings, and afterwards our buildings shape us.” Similarly, you can say: “First we shape our language, then our language shapes us.” As mentioned earlier, Al Siebert underlined that peak performers are realists. They face reality – rather than ignore or gloss over it – and take a positive approach.

Imagine you are a leader inspiring people to tackle a challenge. You will treat people like adults; outline the issue in realistic terms; communicate the picture of success; explain the possible routes forward – together with the respective pluses and minuses; communicate the chosen strategy; explain people’s parts in making it happen; and describe the milestones along the road towards achieving success. The language you use at the start may be ‘matter-of-fact’; then move towards being positive. You will emphasis that people can ‘control the controllables’ and perform at their best to achieve the goal.

Good encouragers create a stimulating environment, but they are also straight with people. They are honest, rather than patronising, and know the power of language. Positive words generate strength; negative words generate weakness. Looking to the future, what kinds of words do you want to use with people? Try tackling the exercise on this theme. First, describe the kind of language – the key phrases and key messages - you want to give. Second, describe the effects you want these to have on people. Try completing the following sentences.

The kind of language – the key phrases and key
messages - I want to use with people in the future are:

*

*

*

The effects I want these to have on people are:

*

*

*

Ludwig Wittgenstein wrote: “The limits of my language means the limits of my world.” So enabling people to expand their language can expand their world. Helping people to clarify their strengths, for example, can expand their future possibilities. Helping people to see how they can achieve a ‘win-win’ solution, rather than persist with ‘win-lose’ stand-offs, can expand their repertoire for tackling challenges. Encouraging people to use positive language can help them to develop in their lives and work.

How can you help people to do their best? One model is to encourage, educate and enable them to reach their goals. Whilst this approach appears humanistic – which it is – it also based on what actually works. It has proved effective when working with people in education, sports, business and many other fields. It can also be used with individuals, teams and whole organisations. You will, of course, adapt the model in your own way.

Imagine that you have a ‘formal’ role in which you encourage people. You may be a leader, manager, teacher, mentor, coach or whatever. Let’s explore how you can help people to achieve their picture of success.

* Start by making a clear working contract.

You will obviously start by making the person feel welcome. Some mentors, for example, aim to create a stimulating sanctuary. They provide an encouraging environment where people feel at ease and able to talk about their goals. Let’s assume you have clarified the person’s aims. The next step is to make a clear working contract. This sounds rather ‘formal’, but it is a key step in helping people to achieve success. Be crystal clear on:

a) The specific goals they want to achieve.

b) Their role in working towards the goals.

c) Your role in working towards the goals.

d) The specific things that will be happening that will show they have reached the goals.

You can then encourage, educate and enable them to achieve their picture of success. Let’s explore how to make this happen.

1) You can encourage people to achieve success.

Good encouragers create an environment in which, if appropriate, they help people to work towards achieving their goals. Imagine you are facilitating such a session. Depending on the topic that is being explored, there are many different tools you can use to help people to develop their inner resources. For example:

a) You can provide a stimulating environment, focus on when people ‘come alive’ and then give them specific encouragement.

This is the route followed by many good educators. Building on the learner’s interests, they provide lots of stimulating ideas, materials and tools. Looking for when a person ‘comes alive’ - when they show energy, enthusiasm and enterprise – they help the learner to explore this particular theme or activity. Good educators then provide specific encouragement.

First, they focus on what the person does well. They highlight the specific things the person does right on the route towards achieving their goals. They then encourage them to continue following these principles.

Second, they focus on what the person can do better and how. Sometimes they simply leave the person to explore these challenges and find their own answers. Other times they ask the person if they want help. If so, they will offer ideas, knowledge and practical tools in the way the learner can accept.

Good educators then help the person to flow, focus, finish and, as a by-product, find fulfilment.

b) You can encourage people to build on their strengths.

If you are working with individuals, you may ask them some of the following questions to clarify their strengths.

“What are the activities in which you deliver ‘As’, rather than ‘Bs’ or ‘Cs’? When do you feel in your element – at ease and yet also able to excel? When do your quickly see the destination - the picture of perfection? When do you go ‘A, B _____ then jump to ____ Z’? Where do you quickly see patterns? When do you experience a sense of flow? Where do you have natural self-discipline? What are the activities in which you have a track record of being a good finisher? When do you go from 7/10 to 10/10?”

If you are working with a team or organisation, you may do a proper SWOT analysis. Recently I worked with a marketing company that took this approach seriously, rather than as a quick, superficial exercise. Looking at the Strengths aspect, they asked the following questions:

“What are our real strengths? What are our ‘A’ talents? What do we deliver brilliantly? What do our customers really buy from us? What do they buy in terms of our product – or service – our people and other factors? How do we deliver this service or product? Who are our perfect customers? What is their specific profile? What are the challenges they face? What is their picture of success? How do we work well with them? What is the kind of spirit, the strategy and the skills we use when helping our customers? What are the specific things we deliver to help them to achieve success? Bearing these answers in mind, what are our real strengths?”

c) You can encourage people to find and follow their successful style.

If you are working with individuals, you can help them to clarify how they work best. Everybody has a positive history. They have done superb work, overcome crises or achieved certain goals. Looking at this history, you can help people to find their preferred way of working – their successful style. If appropriate, invite them to explore the following topics.

“Looking back on your life, describe what for you have been three satisfying projects. Here are we using the term ‘project’ in the broadest sense. You may have got great satisfaction from designing a web site, launching a product, organising a charity run, leading a team, helping somebody to master a skill or whatever. After describing these projects, let’s move on to the next stage.”

“Exploring each project in turn, describe the specific things that made them fulfilling. On one project, for example, you may have chosen to follow your passion; build a ground breaking prototype; get backing from your boss, with whom you had a values-fit; made clear contracts about the ‘what’ – the specific goal; had freedom, within parameters, regarding the ‘how’; co-operated with kindred spirits; followed a daily discipline; tested the pilot with customers; incorporated the improvements; then produced a successful prototype. On the other hand, your pattern may be completely different. So let’s explore each of your satisfying projects.”

Invite the person to consider each project in turn, asking them to describe these in great detail. For example: How they chose the project; how they set it up; how they defined the goal; how they got support; how they organised their days; how they tackled challenges; how they encouraged themselves; how they kept working to reach the goal. After covering this ground, invite them to explore the following theme.

“Looking at each of the projects, can you see any recurring patterns? If so, is it possible to identify your successful style? Looking at this style, how can you follow it in future?”

This exercise provides masses of information for finding a person’s strengths and successful style. Clarify what works for the person. Bearing these principles in mind, you can help the person to translate these into specific goals.

“That sounds useful,” somebody may say, “but how do you apply a similar approach when working with a team or organisation?”

Appreciative Inquiry

There are many ways to build on an organisation’s successful style. One of the most effective is Appreciative Inquiry. AI invites people to learn from their best experiences. It asks them to build on their positive core – what works well for them as individuals, teams and organisations – and do it more. It does not ask them to change. AI starts by inviting people to define a challenge they want to explore. During the past few months, for example, I have used it when working with organisations that tackled the following questions:

“How can we continue delivering excellence and also do work that is extraordinary? … How can we use this crisis in a positive way? … How can we define what we as a company really offer to our customers?”

After defining the topic, people go through four stages. 1) Discovery. They look back at specific times their organisation has performed brilliantly when tackling a similar challenge. They then identify the principles they followed to achieve success. 2) Dream. They build on these principles to create a stimulating and stretching goal. This is the ‘what’ and ‘why’. 3) Design. They design the action plan – the ‘how’, ‘who’ and ‘when’. 4) Destiny (or Delivery). They pursue their chosen principles to deliver the goal.

Appreciative Inquiry works. People feel uplifted and follow their successful patterns to achieve ongoing success. You can explore more about AI at the following link.

Appreciative inquiry

Let’s return to the art of encouragement. So far you have made a clear working contract and agreed on the person’s – or people’s – goals. You then aimed: a) To provide a stimulating environment and specific encouragement; b) To build on people’s strengths; c) To build on their successful style. Let’s move onto the next step – expanding their repertoire for achieving their goals.

2) You can educate the person to achieve their picture of success.

Looking back on your life, who have been your greatest educators? What did these people do right? How did they help you to develop in your life and work?

Good educators make learning personal, practical and ‘profitable’. They start by focusing on the person’s agenda - what they want to learn. They offer positive models and practical tools that work. They then help the learner to practice the learning in a way that is ‘profitable’. It helps the learner to achieve success. Let’s explore three steps you can take to pursue this path in your own way.

a) You can provide positive models that work.

You are clear on the learner’s goals. Bearing these goals in mind, what are the approaches that are likely to help them to achieve success? What are the models that you know work? Certainly people must eventually settle on their own approach, but it can help to share knowledge from what has succeeded elsewhere. So how can you pass-on these positive models in a way the person can accept? They will then have more information they can add to their map for reaching their goals.

b) You can provide practical tools that work.

Move from the concept to the concrete. People enjoy theories, but they also want practical tools that work. So you might ask the individual to consider, for example:

“Looking ahead, there are various options you can follow to reach your goal. Option A is: To ________. Option B is: To ________. Option C is: To _______. Each road has both pluses and minuses. Looking at these options, which is the route – or the routes - you want to follow? Bearing in mind your chosen route, are there any strategies or skills you want to develop to increase your chances of success? If so, what are the tools you would like us to explore to help you to reach your goals?”

Bearing in mind what the learner wants to focus on, you can provide practical tools, tips and techniques they can use to work towards their picture of success.

c) You can expand people’s repertoire for achieving their goals.

Good educators offer people ideas, knowledge and tools that they can use in their daily lives. People then have more options and, hence, more freedom to shape their futures. Some educators we meet personally; others we ‘meet’ through their books, films or other media. So how do you want to pass on your knowledge? For example, you may do this through modelling, teaching, coaching, mentoring, writing, making films, creating an inspiring web site, building prototypes that work or whatever. You will, of course, find your own way to offer people more choices for reaching their goals.

3) You can enable the person to achieve ongoing success.

“Education is all about the ‘E’ words,” said one of my teachers. “It is about encouraging and engaging the learners. Focusing on where they show energy and enterprise, you work together with them to achieve excellence. You can then equip and empower the students to develop, even when you are not around. Great educators enable the students to keep improving and, if they have the ability and application, to do something exceptional.”

Let’s explore how you can encourage people to take this step towards achieving ongoing success.

a) You can enable people to integrate the learning.

Great educators focus on the 3 Is: inspiration, implementation and integration. They create an inspiring environment, offer implementation tools that work and enable people to integrate these in their lives and work. This final step is crucial.

People must ‘own’ the knowledge to apply it successfully. This is a crucial step - whether they are developing skills in computing, cookery, creativity, dancing, engineering, economics, football or whatever. How do you know when somebody has integrated an idea? They use their own language and methods to explain what they are doing and make things happen. Certainly they may follow ‘eternal principles’. But they do so by using their own strengths, performing superb work and sometimes doing something exceptional.

Some teachers are good at inspiration - they fire people with enthusiasm. Some are also good at implementation - they offer practical tools. Some are good at both these steps – but go even further. They enable people to integrate the learning and apply it in their lives and work.

b) You can enable people to find creative solutions to challenges.

People will encounter difficulties on the road towards reaching their goals. So it can be useful to help them to find solutions to challenges. You can do this by enabling them to use the 5C model for creative problem solving.

Whenever faced with a decision to make, they can focus on:

* Clarity. What are the real results I want to achieve?

* Choices. What are the potential options for tackling this challenge?

* Consequences. What are the consequences – the pluses and minuses of each option?

* Creative solutions. What are the potential creative solutions?

* Concrete results. What are the conclusions? What are the route – or routes – I want to take towards achieving the results? What are the specific steps I can take to achieve concrete results?

Helping people to apply this model can provide them with a gift for life.

c) You can enable people to achieve ongoing success

Much depends, of course, on the person’s hunger. Great workers follow their passion, translate this into a clear purpose and do everything possible to achieve peak performance.

“Working with footballers can be challenging,” said one coach. “Some have enormous talent but, because things have ‘come easily’ for them, they may have not developed good habits. They produce occasional pieces of magic, but many times lapse into delivering 6/10. Some lesser talented players keep themselves healthy, focus on their contribution to the team and consistently deliver 7+/10. Sometimes you find that rare combination: the gifted player who is committed to constant improvement. They are more likely to become the truly great players.”

You cannot instil hunger: that comes from within the person. What you can do is encourage them to build on their strengths, follow their successful style and set specific goals. They can do superb work, find solutions to challenges and achieve their picture of success. After they have reached their goals, you can help them to develop the habit of constant improvement. One approach is to encourage them to reflect on their work and describe:

1) The specific things I did well on this piece of work were:

*

The specific things I can do to follow
these principles more in the future are:

*

2) The specific things I could do better next time are:

*

The specific things I can do to take these steps are:

*

People who develop this discipline are more likely to achieve and maintain peak performance.

———————-

There are many models for helping people to do their best. This article has focused on the art of encouragement. Encouragement is just one approach. You will, of course, apply this approach in your own way.

Imagine you are a mentor, educator or keynote speaker. How can you communicate in a way that people find relevant and rewarding? People often want to understand the overall philosophy but also get practical tools. One approach is to keep moving between the concept and the concrete. Let’s explore how this works in practice.

1) You can give the concept.

Imagine you are helping people to develop their leadership skills. Begin by clarifying the key messages you want to give people. Plan how you can bring these messages to life by moving between the concept and concrete. One message you may want to give, for example, is that the leader is always ‘on stage’. Start by introducing the concept. You may want to say something like:

“The leader is always ‘on stage’. People will pick up on your mood. They will watch the way you communicate, speak and act. Looking back on your own life, remember how you reacted to parents, teachers and your managers. You probably watched them closely to ‘read’ their emotions - then judged what it was safe to say or do. Leaders set the tone - which is what you do in your daily work. Let’s consider how to translate this principle into practice.”

2) You can move to the concrete.

Show that you understand people’s world by linking the concept to concrete actions. There are many ways to bring the learning to life. Here is a snapshot of one approach. You may want to say something like:

“Let’s start from your destination and do three things. First, write the actual words you want people to say about you as a leader. For example: ‘She/he is always positive. She/he communicates a clear vision. She/he always has time for us as individuals.’ Second, describe your leadership journey during the working day - especially the interactions you have with employees. Third, describe how you want to behave during each part of this journey - especially when you are ‘on stage’. Remember the impressions you want people to take away from their interactions with you.

“Let’s start the journey. When do people see you for the first time during the day? Perhaps when you get out of the car; then you enter the building; greet the receptionist; enter the lift; say ‘hello,’ to others in the lift; walk into the main office; say ‘hello,’ to individuals; greet your PA; get yourself a coffee; talk with people at the coffee machine; walk back through the office; sit in front of the computer; begin work; answer the phone; walk around the office and so on. Looking at your journey, ask yourself:

* How do I want to behave when I meet each person? If a video camera followed me during the day, what would people see? What messages do I want to give? How can I give these in a positive but natural way?

* How do I want to greet people? How can I be fully present and give each person 100% attention? How can I show a sincere interest in them? What are the specific things I want to say to each person?

* What impression do I give when I walk through the office? Do I appear friendly, preoccupied or disinterested? What messages do I want to give? How can I do this in a natural way?

* What impression would people get of me if they saw me at my computer? Would it be better for me to have my own office - or be facing the wall - so that people do not read too much into my expressions?

* Everybody needs ‘personal space’ where they can just be themselves. What can I do to create this reflection time or space to relax? Once I have taken ‘time out’, how can I then refocus and go back into the situation where I am ‘on stage’?”

Keep giving concrete examples. Answer questions and, where appropriate, give practical tools that people can use in their daily lives and work.

3) You can keep moving between the concept and the concrete.

Some teachers stay on the conceptual level; others stay on the concrete. Great educators move between the two levels. After covering the first topic, move onto the second and repeat the process. Try tackling the exercise on this theme. Looking ahead, think of a situation where you want to use this approach. First, describe the key messages - the concepts - you want to give people. Second, describe the examples you can use to bring these to life and make them concrete. When communicating, make sure that: a) You are connecting with people; b) You are helping them to reach their goals. People are then more likely to find the messages both relevant and rewarding. Try completing the following sentences.

Moving between the concept and the concrete

The first message. The concept I want to give is:

*

The practical examples and tools I
can give to make this concrete are:

*

*

*

The second message. The concept I want to give is:

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The practical examples and tools I
can give to make this concrete are:

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The third message. The concept I want to give is:

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The practical examples and tools I
can give to make this concrete are:

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